I am pleased to welcome back a previous guest grumbler who has a problem that many of us have faced before.  This has been edited slightly from the original so younger audiences can still appreciate the anger this has caused the writer, without offending them too much……..

Tractors. They get right on my wick! Well I can’t blame the tractors; it’s not their fault that they have inconsiderate douche bags as owners.

I grew up in Lancashire, in an area where the only grass around is the kind you smoke. So I’m not used to seeing these 8 ton crap covered machines cruising at a blistering 2mph, in may I add, a chuffing National speed limit zone! (60mph for single carriage way, see a previous grumble)

Now these Tractor drivers may think its ok to bounce along at 20mph in a 60mph zone during the morning / evening rush hour, but tell that to the 20+ cars stuck behind you. Especially when you’ve passed God knows how many areas that could easily accommodate your manhood extension

You can even see there was a perfect place to pull in… Typical

As the Highway code puts it:

Rule 169: Do not hold up a long queue of traffic, especially if you are driving a large or slow-moving vehicle. Check your mirrors frequently, and if necessary, pull in where it is safe and let traffic pass.  

Do you follow this rule Mr Tractor Driver? No you chuffin well don’t. Oh you look in your mirrors alright, and I’m sure take great delight in the ever growing queue behind you, as you bounce along on your fat a$$,

But take it from me, one of these days someone in that queue is gonna get out of their car walk up to your tractor and beat you with your own wellington boots your sister, who’s also your wife bought you



Now as I see it you have 4 options

  • Only go on the roads outside of the rush hour times
  • Put your chuffing foot down, you’re not telling me that engine that’s the size of my whole car, can only do 20mph
  • Pull over when you see a chuffing queue behind you
  • Don’t do any of the above and risk getting a Wellington beating

Think about it Tractor drivers!

Craig J – Selby